An older couple were lying in bed one morning.
The husband takes his wife’s and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not?" he asked.
She answered, "Because I'm dead."
The husband asked..."What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!"
She said, "No, I'm definitely dead."
He insisted, "You are not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."
Salem witch trialOctober 20, 2005 Craige McMillan commentator: On Friday, Oct. 14, a communist judge in Salem, Ore., ruled that it was "unfair," and therefore unconstitutional, for voters to express their will on the subject of land-use planning. The reason? It could result in an unequal outcome. Our Constitution insures, therefore, not equal opportunity, but equal outcomes.
Communists believe that all property either belongs to – or should belong to – the state. We as citizens are only wards of that state...
Last year, Oregon voters decided to uphold private property rights because they felt the "takings" through land-use regulations had become excessive. People who had bought property 20, 30 or 40 years ago found they could no longer build their retirement home or subdivide their family farm for retirement income. All they could do was pay property taxes.
Measure 37 was passed by over 60 percent of the state's voters. It allowed cities and counties to continue to prohibit development through land-use planning – but said they would have to pay the owner for the lost value of his or her land. Barring that – development could proceed...
...Not only are judges like Mary James an affront to the separation of powers and the voice of the people, they have twisted the wording of the constitution to mean precisely the opposite of what it actually says...
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=46934House Passes 'Cheeseburger Bill'
Oct. 20, 2005 The House says if you supersize your fries and your waistline follows, don't blame the food sellers.
By a vote of 307-to-119 it easily approved a measure, nicknamed the cheeseburger bill, to prevent people from suing restaurants and food sellers for obesity-related problems.
Supporters argued that frivolous lawsuits won't make anyone skinnier...
...The head of the National Restaurant Association praised the vote. Steven Anderson says it is "irrational" to hold restaurants and food companies legally responsible for what people decide to eat and how much of it...
http://newsmax.com/archives/articles/2005/10/19/154542.shtmlSenate Bill Would Blunt Property RulingOct. 20, 2005 Reacting to a Supreme Court ruling, the Senate on Wednesday moved to bar some federal funds from projects where people's homes are seized for private development.
An amendment to the transportation, treasury and housing spending bill would prevent any money in the bill from being spent on projects that seek to use the power of eminent domain to build shopping malls or other commercial developments.
"People should not be forced out their homes at the will of any private development," said Sen. Kit Bond, R-Mo., who offered the amendment. The bill is expected to pass the Senate this week.
...Separately, Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas, is pushing a bill that would ban the use of any federal funds in construction projects that rely on the Supreme Court decision to seize property.
Eminent domain is typically used for public works projects that benefit entire communities, such as highways, airports or mass transit projects. The measure approved Wednesday would continue to allow federal funds to be used when property is confiscated for public use.
http://newsmax.com/archives/articles/2005/10/19/173550.shtmlCourt sides with 5-year-old after school censors Jesus
October 20, 2005 Officials at a New York state school may have violated the constitutional free-speech rights of a kindergarten student who included an image of Jesus in his homework assignment, according to an appeals court decision.
...Antonio Peck, who attended Catherine McNamara Elementary School in Baldwinsville, N.Y., as a kindergarten student during the 1999-2000 school year, included an image of Jesus and other religious elements in a poster created in fulfillment of a homework assignment on the environment.
The student reportedly was expressing his belief that God was the only way to save the environment.
School officials rejected one version of the poster and then obscured a portion of the second version when it was placed on display at an assembly, citing concerns over its "religious" nature.
Liberty Counsel, a Florida-based public-interest law firm, filed suit over the second poster.
"To allow a kindergarten poster to be displayed for a few hours on a cafeteria wall, along with 80 other student posters, is far from an establishment of religion," said Mathew D. Staver, president and general counsel of Liberty Counsel. "To censor the poster solely because some might perceive a portion of it to be religious is an egregious violation of the Constitution."
...The second version of the poster depicted a robed, praying figure of Jesus, a church with a cross, people picking up trash for recycling, children holding hands around a globe, clouds, trees, a squirrel and grass.
In its opinion, the 2nd Circuit panel said the district court "overlooked evidence that, if construed, in the light most favorable to Peck, suggested that Antonio's poster was censored not because it was unresponsive to the assignment ... , but because it offered a religious perspective on the topic of how to save the environment."
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=46920House Passes Lawsuit Protection for Gun Industry
October 20, 2005 Gun makers, distributors and dealers moved one step closer Thursday to being exempt from liability lawsuits unless they violate a law or federal regulation or their products are defective. The House of Representatives passed the "Protection of Lawful Commerce in Arms Act" by a vote of 283 to 144.
...supporters pointed to the language of the bill and argued that it clearly only protects law-abiding and ethical gun dealers.
"It does not interfere with traditional remedies for damages resulting from defects in the design or manufacture of the products," explained Rep. Rick Boucher (D-Va.) co-sponsor of the House version of the proposal. "The bill provides no shelter to those who would sell firearms illegally. It does not affect suits against anyone who has violated other state or federal laws."
Boucher introduced the bill because of what he believes are the nefarious motives of the gun control groups, which often fund lawsuits against gun dealers and makers.
...Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas) complained about "people who want to make gun manufacturers liable for what others do with their firearms.
http://www.cnsnews.com/ViewNation.asp?Page=\Nation\archive\200510\NAT20051020a.htmlACLU Puts Abstinence-Only Sex Ed in Its CrosshairsOctober 18, 2005 ...the ACLU has added a new objective in its quest to defend the civil rights of American citizens: eliminate from public schools sex-education programs that encourage teens to remain sexually pure until marriage.
...What does the ACLU propose in place of the abstinence-only-until-marriage programs?
"They want comprehensive sex education [in] kindergarten and above with a full push towards homosexuality and abortion and access to contraception," says Linda Klepacki of Focus on the Family Action....
...Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council points out that the incidence of teen pregnancies had risen sharply before abstinence programs were adopted, according to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.
"Since approval of abstinence programs, however," Perkins notes, "the national teen pregnancy rate has fallen as much as 22 percent." And that is why his organization has written to the governors in all of the 18 states targeted by the ACLU, encouraging them to help the youth of their state by fully implementing abstinence education. And the Alliance Defense Fund will defend them if challenged by the ACLU, he adds...
Earlier this year, the ACLU filed a lawsuit to eliminate federal funding for a highly successful abstinence-based sex ed program called the Silver Ring Thing, which encourages teens to sign a voluntary pledge to abstain from sexual activity until marriage and to wear a ring signifying their vow. The ACLU argued that federal funding to the Silver Ring Thing constitutes an unconstitutional endorsement of religion, and that the program fails to adequately separate religious components from its abstinence message...
http://headlines.agapepress.org/archive/10/182005c.aspNumber Overstated for Storm Evacuees in HotelsOctober 19, 2005 - The Red Cross and federal government said Tuesday that they had been significantly overreporting the number of Hurricane Katrina evacuees in hotels. Instead of 600,000 people, 200,000 remain in hotels, the charity said.
...Local officials in cities that included Dallas and Houston, where many evacuees settled, said the Red Cross figures seemed high.
"We kind of looked at those numbers ourselves and thought they were exaggerated," said Frank J. Librio, a spokesman for Mayor Laura Miller of Dallas...
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/19/national/nationalspecial/19housing.html?ei=5090&en=5c5363a6a3fac7cb&ex=1287374400&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=printNatural gas drops 4%, near 2-week low
~~ Stocks top 3 trillion cubic feet; crude nears 3-month low
Oct. 20, 2005 SAN FRANCISCO (MarketWatch) -- Natural-gas futures fell 4% Thursday after a government report revealed that domestic supplies of the heating fuel climbed above 3 trillion cubic feet for the first time since mid-December of last year.
The weakness in natural-gas prices combined with a rise in oil supplies to pull crude futures prices to their lowest levels since late July.
http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story.asp?siteid=bigcharts&dist=bigcharts&guid=%7B90C78046-8CF1-4EE7-9508-A07088C6B78D%7DBird-flu epidemic in humans 'science fiction' (hopefully...but...)Spain's ag minister says it's 'solely and exclusively a veterinary problem'
October 19, 2005The agriculture minister of Spain calls fears the bird flu moving westward across Europe will create a global outbreak among humans "science fiction."
"The idea of a pandemic among humans is something from science fiction," Elena Espinosa said on the private radio station Cadena Ser, according to Agence France-Presse.
Claiming it's currently "solely and exclusively a veterinary problem," Espinosa said human infections in Asia were "in very specific poultry raising situations where the families lived with the chickens and infection was due to constant inhalation."
...The main fear among scientists is that while H5N1 does not spread easily from person to person, it could mutate into a form transmissible with seasonal flu in humans, potentially killing millions as was the case in the 1918 influenza pandemic...
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=46929